Kailyn recently graduated from preschool!! Yay!!! Kailyn!!! I'm so proud of her and yet I'm heartbroken that she is finished with preschool. I honestly can't properly explain the mixture of sadness and joy that I feel. To me, she is perfect. She loves God, loves to say her memory verses at school and to unexpecting strangers at Walmart, and I don't want anyone to ruin her. I don't want anyone to steal her joy or interupt her progress. I don't want anyone to break her heart, or be cruel or mean or rude to her. I would basically be content to freeze time and keep up this pace of motherhood in having 3 kids 5 and under, hectic and demanding as it is. I love every second, and I love my little girl heart and soul. I don't want to be one of "those" parents whose child never goes anywhere, or does anything, but keeping her under my wing, or in some sort of undescructable bubble where I am in control of who is involved with her and who has access to her is ever so tempting!
She has grown and matured so much over the past 2 years. Preschool has been wonderful for her. When we first started this program 2 years ago I wasn't sure she would ever make it past the first week of school! For those that don't know us, Kailyn is a momma's girl. She is extremely attached to me, and leaving me for any amount of time is an ordeal even on a good day. She has LOVED school so much that in the couple of times that i have overslept she was extemely upset with me! How dare I let her miss a day of school?! "I have to learn things mom!!" "I have to be smart!" "I have to go to school!!" (Lot's of dramatic crying in between!)
So when I walk her into Kindergarten next year, holding her hand, I'll pretend to be as excited and happy as she is. I WILL smile though my heart WILL be aching. I'll help her to find her classroom and hand her off to her teachers reluctantly and yet with pride. I'll say goodbye and kiss her and tell her to have a great day! I'll wave as I leave the room and blow her a kiss and walk back to my truck...and then...when I'm out of sight...I WILL cry.
A little background behind this photo. Kailyn and her class had rehearsal for recieving their "diplomas." When I came to pick her up from school she was in hysterics. She was crying and sobbing that she didn't want "that paper" Why she was scared who knows?? She doesn't have a hint of stage fright. She was the loudest and proudest on stage, very confident in her songs and memory verses so this fear of getting "the paper" was confusing. So...everyday for a week...I made fake diplomas and gave big pseudo preschool speeches and called each on of my kids in one by one by name to receive their "paper".....I even had Baby Luke trained! So, as you can see in the photo, our practice paid off! Love you baby girl!
